Navigating the Delicate Balance Between Family and Work: A Personal Journey
Balancing family time with work commitments is a challenge many of us face. Having been in the trenches myself, I know firsthand the toll it can take. For years, I juggled a fast-paced, highly demanding job, commuted 50 minutes each way to and from London, and tried to be there for my firstborn. At eight months pregnant, I found myself running to the train station after work, knowing that if I missed my train, I wouldn't see my daughter for two whole days. This happened on a few occasions, and I cannot express the level of guilt and anxiety that grew during this period of my life. You can only imagine how I felt when the nursery called to say my daughter had a fever and I couldn’t be there to cuddle her right away. It hurt… a lot.
The burnout, however, didn’t actually hit me until my second child was around ten months old. Despite being on maternity leave, I couldn’t switch my brain off from the day job, (I should state my team was completely capable without me; this was entirely my own doing).
In the thick of it, I was obsessively cleaning the house for hours each day, desperate to prove I was coping. I baked endless batches of banana bread (didn’t we all during lockdown?), and planned fun-filled days with my firstborn, even on nights when I hadn’t slept. I refused help because I was "fine." But here's the thing: I wasn’t fine. And if you're feeling this way, it’s okay to admit it. I was amazed at how many parents felt this way too when I started to open up, and it was such a relief to know I wasn’t alone.
Flexible working hours and remote working have emerged as a beacon of hope in this dilemma. They provide the much-needed room to attend a child's school event, manage daily family routines, or simply be present for those spontaneous, unforgettable moments children create. This adaptability reduces the guilt and stress many parents feel when forced to choose between career and family.
The fear of missing out on key milestones with our children remains a significant concern. First steps, first words, and other developmental milestones are irreplaceable. How many of us have had a message from a grandparent, childminder, or nursery staff saying, “X took their first steps!!!”? Honestly, it’s crushing.
The anxiety of not being there for these moments can lead to a sense of loss and regret. Flexible working arrangements can help alleviate some of this anxiety, enabling parents to be present during critical times. But how do we request it? Will there be implications? And like me, will you really work flexible hours, or will you end up compensating and actually doing more late nights at the laptop to show “it’s working”? It’ll only work better for you if you learn to adapt too.
Incorporating flexibility into work life doesn’t just benefit families; it enhances employee satisfaction and productivity across the board. When parents feel supported in their dual roles, they are more engaged and motivated at work. Employers who recognise and accommodate the needs of working parents cultivate a loyal and committed workforce.
Ultimately, finding a balance between work and family is deeply personal and complex. It’s about making choices that align with our values and priorities. Flexible working hours offer a practical solution, but it’s the empathetic understanding of the struggle that truly makes a difference. Let’s work together to create environments where both professional and personal lives can thrive harmoniously.
If you're struggling to juggle it all, know that you're not alone. Small changes can lead to big improvements in your work-life balance. As someone who has been there, I really do understand. Together, we can find balance and thrive.